Dad

My old man turned 76 this year. It's crazy to even say it, but it's true. I haven't seen my dad since 2019, needless to say, I miss him. I have to make a conscious effort this year and go see him. I know it's been hard on him emotionally to spend so many years alone and I wish things were different. My dad wasn't the best dad in the world, but we always had this connection. He understood me in ways my mother couldn't. She still can't.

Unfortunately somewhere along the lines dad and I have disconnected. My life has been a series of trips, falls and rises and I guess in a way it's made me a little more distant with the world as a whole. I love you dad.

My earliest memory with my dad is me being about 3 yrs old. I remember we had a daily routine of waking up super early and we would walk down the street and he'd buy me a yaniqueque (idk if that's how you spell it so dominicans don't come for me). For those of you who don't know what that is, it's like an empanada but greasier, unhealthier and way better tasting lol. We did this every morning like at 6am, I don't know how long we did that for, and my mother hated it. I think she may have been a little jealous at the way dad and I connected. Even now, she can't connect with me, not fully at least.

When I was born my parents didn't have much. They lived in a room in one my aunts house. My mom was practically the maid there, it was her way of pulling her weight since she couldn't contribute financially. I was little, surrounded by cousins and family and I was happy. I was oblivious to whatever hardships my parents endured. Now as an adult I've learned my mom got the bulk of the hardships. My dad was never around and when he was I'm not sure he was a good husband to my mom.

My dad has always been this nonchalant, chill, go with the flow kind of guy. I envy that, I think mom does too. Growing up my dad was my idol. I was such a daddy's girl, he couldn't do anything wrong in my eyes. He saved me from my moms beatings, he spent time with me, he played with me, we watched movies together, we read together, we were able to talk openly.

I always appreciated the way he would listen to me and give me advice I mactually would listen to. Kind of ironic since we lived so far apart and had mostly a telephonic relationship. That was always my favorite thing about dad, he just understood and he loved me and I felt it. He was affectionate in ways my mom never could. I hate that we've spent so many years apart. I wonder how different my life would have been had I grown up with him and not my mom.

Viejo, te amo!