Dear Dave,

It's Jas's 19th birthday!! Can you believe it? Our little troublemaker is all grown up. I wish you could see her now, I met the boyfriend last night. I really like him. Remember how we liked Hector because he loved her exactly as she was? Crazy and loud and he always brought out the best version of her. I see the same in Angel.

Our girl is in love. And so is he. I got to see it last night. They're both crazy about each other but they're young and don't really know how to fully show it. Jas is just like me when she's in love. It's like tunnel vision, the rest of the world doesn't matter or count. Angel is ambitious and driven and I love that those positive traits are rubbing off on her.

I low key want them to have a baby together. Obviously not now, but if she ever has kids I think Angel would be a great dad. He's family oriented and responsible.

Last night I let Jas and Ari throw a party at home. I don't know if I mentioned Ari to you before but I really like her. I've kind of adopted her lol. Idk what it is with me and always picking up stray kids and practically making them my own. I just want my kids and their friends to feel like they have a safe space to be themselves. You know like how we didn't get to have that growing up.

Anyway, Jas has 2 friends I really like, Ari and Che. Ari is a hothead but she don't play about Jas and she's even protective over our other kids. The littles love her. She's definitely family now. Ari gave me a whole speech last night about what a good mom I am. She made me cry.

Then there's Che. Che is Jas's most responsible friend. She's so tiny but she always has her back. No matter what. Last night she was a great doorkeeper, she takes no shit and she kicked people out. Jas never gets in trouble with Che and that particular group of friends.

But yea, here we are with a whole adult child, an almost adult child and our two littles are little going on 30. I wish you were here to watch them grow up with me. To experience all these little things with me. I still think of all the times we would sit down and look ahead at us growing old together as empty nesters and just relax and look back at the beautiful life we created. Looking forward to all the traveling we were going to do. Having to do the next 30 yrs alone really sucks. I can't even picture it. Up until now my future was you and now I don't know what the future will look like or feel like or where it's gonna go.

As always, I miss you hunny bee 🐝