Dear Dave,

Hi babe, I've been thinking about you crazy lately. Like all the time. I miss you. I've been super emotional for weeks. I would say even a bit crazy. Maybe it's the retrograde 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway there won't be much structure to this entry. I just feel like talking to you. I'm a giant ball of emotions, some of which I don't even understand. There are times where the anger is overwhelming. Why you? Why me? Why us?

I'm trying my best to keep loving forward. I've actually made some changes. I've been really busy lately between the blog and podcast and my actual job and the kids. I've left no time for me to date. And I like it that way. I want to heal. I want to grow. I want to focus on things that will fill my cup with positive and peace and love. I don't want to keep hurting myself. I don't want to keep thinking that finding another love might be the solution. I've always known it's not but you know that hopeless romantic in me is such a sucker.

I saw your mom last week, she's home and happy to be there. Gabby made her a ceramic turtle for her birthday and she loved it. We got her a cake and sang happy birthday and I like to think that it made a difference and made her happy. I also tried speed dating last weekend. Remember I used to tell you we should try it just for the experience? Well I finally tried it and honestly even though the guys weren't really my type, the experience itself was really fun. I'd definitely do it again if it comes up.

This past weekend gabby and I went camping with the Girl Scouts. Boy what an experience. Our girl had so much fun. I wish you were here to share these little things with her. I was miserable and wanted to give up and come home many times. But I stuck it out and here we are. The broken window is finally getting fixed. I ordered this little plaque thing that I'm very excited about. I'm setting up your own little corner out in the yard under our favorite tree.

Our little house is coming along quite nicely. I just wish it was paid off lol. Maybe you can send some fairy dust down here and I can hit the lotto. I don't need a lot of money just enough to pay off the house and the car. I hope all these little ventures I'm trying pay off. Help give me the focus and motivation to finish my book. I have so much faith in my stories. I know they'd make a difference. I know one day I'll be able to share my passion with the world. I'd still like to do a poetry slam but I'm so nervous. Maybe one day.

Julian has a concert on Wednesday, I'll let you know how it goes. I'm so proud of our chunka. I hope he feels how much I love him. Yaya is doing ok, still recovering from the concussion and struggling a bit with his schoolwork. I'm gonna try to help him tonight and see how it goes. Jas is ok, looking for work. She definitely needs a job.

Well I guess that's all the updates I have for now. I love you, I miss you and it's me and you til the end baby. By the way there's this country song that makes me think of you. I'll leave a little of it below ⬇️

They say nothing lasts forever But they ain't seen us together Or the way the moonlight dances in your eyes And I know there'll be that moment The good Lord calls one of us home and One won't have the other by their side But heaven knows that that won't last too long Maybe some things last forever after all

-forever after all, Luke Combs

🍯🐝✨