January

You have the rap of being the longest month. At least that's what it feels like. You often come with a lot of emotions. A lot of us feel anxiety about the new year especially if the the year ending was a bad one. Some of us feel an enormous amount of hope that soon dissipates because life is hard. Others don't care about you at all, they don't see the fuss when it's just another year, another month, another day.

January you suffer from the fact that you're first in line. You take on blame and responsibility for all the other months. Those of us who have suffered great losses or failures in January often blame the time. We blame the month, we grow to despise the month because knowing that you're approaching just reminds us that bad things happened the last time or times you came. I feel that way about March.

March for me signifies loss, dread, pain. I wrote about it before because March keeps working against me. Now I hate March. I dread it's arrival with the utmost anxiety. I fear it. Because I'm afraid more bad things will come with March. It's a battle of survival every time March rears its head around the corner.

So January, this year I'm hopeful and I'm hoping for a good January so the rest of the months can follow suit. A lot of us feel that way. So please behave and do your best, lives and minds depend on it.