Why can’t we let go of bad relationships?

Dive - Luke Combs

Don't call me babyyyyy

Do you have a tendency to lead people on.........Every mess I've made......Unless you mean it...if you don't believe it....so let me know the truth before I dive right in to you

I love that song so much. I also feel like that last line doesn't get the respect? attention? validation? Whatever the word, it doesn't get enough of it. But in my opinion it holds a ton of weight. "Let me know the truth before I dive right in" this should be the dating rule of thumb!! I think that everyone is owed this level of respect. The problem is relationships don't work the way they used to.

People play games and treat their relationship like it's a competition;

"If he cheats, I cheat too"

"If she flirts then I'll flirt too"

"You don't answer my message today, I'm not talking to you for the next 2 days"

Like what the fuck is all that. I'm grateful that none of that appeals to me but I'm also a little disappointed that I can't even learn it. People like me always end up hurt. I try to be sooo incredibly honest because I expect that in return. I'm considerate and caring because well, I like you and I want to show you that. I've said this before and I'll say it again - do onto others what you would want done to you.

The hopeless romantic in me is always waiting for that moment to be swept off by feet. To feel as loved by someone as I love them. To feel as cared about as I care for them. All those big feelings that just pour out of me, I want to feel that in return. As much as my husband loved me, he didn't love me as much as I loved him.

Which brings me to my original question. Why can't we let go of situationships? I have an opinion on this and of course I'm gonna share but I do want to mention (forewarn) that clearly whatever my opinion or solution is to this, it's obviously not working.

We all acknowledge the fact that relationships now last longer than they should. I don't mean that they should have an expiration date but sometimes people stay together and deep down they know their relationship was already over. But why? Why choose to be unhappy?

My answer to this is - comfort.

Better a devil you know than an Angel you don't.

I think once we get really comfortable in relationships or even situationships where your worlds intertwine, because I think eventually they do, whether you were trying for that or not. Anyway, when you feel super comfy, you've met the family or maybe not yet but decide to move in together your lives collide. Once you live together your worlds are interchangeable and once you add a kid to the mix, it just keeps mushing together.

All these components are what keep relationships together longer even after they've expired. We've all been there at one point or another. I stayed with Jae longer than I should have, and then left and then took him back. (I'm about to air some dirty laundry guys) I kept David around for too long and if he was still here, we'd still be together. I forgave a lot, I swallowed a lot, and I've always been that cliché woman who believes in second chances. Now I have a situationship and sometimes it feels like it should end or maybe it should have ended. I'm so blindly in love that I just stay there, kind of like "just in case". No solid footing, ready to free fall at any moment.

That's pretty fucking pathetic. I know this, I tell myself this, I would say this to any friend I care about, yet, here I am. Hoping, waiting, daydreaming, wishing for the day things change. Every time I pull away, even a little, he reels me in. Once I'm back in friendly waters, he pulls away. Leaving me sad and feeling broken and hating myself for loving him and always falling for that face I love so much. But see one thing I'm learning about in therapy, familiar situations attract, even if they're negative ones. So I guess my situationship brings familiarity which apparently is a magnet for me. Gee how lucky.....not!

I wish people learned to talk more. Actually, I wish the people I love and need, communicate and show me all the same love I show them.

I'm always trying to save the world but, bitch save yourself first!!!!